I'm assuming if you read my profile you already know that this is a release for me and to bring understanding to what living with Alopecia Areata is all about and the turmoil that happens within while you're smiling on the outside. I don't want to be gloom and doom but the reality is that it hurts...it hurts to be a woman without hair. If you're sick people know it and have compassion. If you lose your hair it's your "dirty little secret".
My close friends and family now know but they have no idea how it has destroyed who I really am. When I'm making jokes about it I'm actually crying on the inside because I'm pretending to accept it when in fact after fifteen years I still have not accepted it at all.
I beat myself up for having these feelings however because I don't have cancer, I don't have diabetes, I'm not dying nor am I ever going to die from baldness so how dare I feel bad about this disease. It's a struggle to know how to feel. I certainly don't want pity so what is I want? I think it must be just validation that people understand.
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